Survived & Savored - 2 months!

From a blog I found on a friend's blog .. truly the truth.

"Trust your instincts. You might not think you know what you're doing, but I promise you do.

Expect that it will hurt, expect that it will be hard, and expect that you can do it anyway. You're a rockstar, after all. You were made for this.

Cherish those first few days. They are straight up magic."

-rockstar diaries

2 month naked babies! Watch us grow!

Gracie 10 lbs 22 inches Quinn 11.8 lbs 22 inches Harper 9 lbs 22 inches 

Dear Quinn, Harper Gracie -

It's already been another month of getting to know all three of you and discovering our strengths and weaknesses as your parents. I am certain of one thing, we are not always perfect but every move we make in your direction is with a crazy love that I hope you feel even when you are crying because once again you get mommy's favorite saying each day "you're next sweet baby". If you end up someday in counseling because you always had to wait and you have a complex, please know if I could do our many hours alone together any smoother, I would -- but for now, it's my best and it's all I have :) But we do it.. the four of us, when daddy is at work, grandma is at home and nobody is here to help - we do it together, and we will always have those memories, just us.

I don't really have organized thoughts of what has happened over the last month, nor have I updated or even started your baby books. Oops, Quinn I just realized with the last minute game decision on Quinn, your baby book says Finley all over it...

Anyways, my general reflection of the last month is confidence, trust and believing. I think your daddy and I have picked up speed with digging deep on intuition and to just go with it. I wish I had a video (well, not really) of what happens here during feedings. I have been known to hold a bottle with my calf, reaching over to feed another baby with the third on my forearm rocking you while of course saying, "you're next.." And night feedings - well, we got smart. We still get up most nights, but we hired a nice girl to come 2 nights and feed you so we can sleep for 6 hours - yeah! And let me tell you, I am SUPERMOM those next days! But other than that, I feel like I sort of know what I'm doing and I know your daddy feels the same way. After all, you are part of us..you grew in my belly - we are the most qualified. We know more about you than any book, blog or website will ever know. Intuition and trust in expecting the best is real and when I listen to that, the ship sails smooth...and when I don't - well, it's a little more bumpy.

Let's see...we have retired mama's milk. Very sad for mama, but you guys don't seem to care. Tears have and will be shed, but we made it to 8 weeks to the day. Not shabby for a 3 to 1 ratio...

My favorite time is still the morning, you guys are so happy and just bounce and kick on your playmats! I prayed so long for a "healthy bouncy baby" ( in those exact words) and I look down and I see that God decided to just go ahead and say, "Here you get THREE really BOUNCY and KICKING babies!" and my heart skips a beat. My other favorite is how the same week you all discovered yourself in the mirror on your swing..you all look up like, "wow..that is cool!"

Other fun things..our first Valentines Day and our first outing with Laura and our friend baby Raya! Also it was 60 degrees so we went on our first walk in the big triple stroller - it was sunny and you all slept so peacefully while mama got her first "workout".

My favorite SAVORED moment... Fridays after I get out and get some "me time" and coming home to do a feeding with Grandma and then going in our big king sized bed and cuddling, just the 4 of us and watching Oprah. Life stands still and I know someday you guys won't fit on me or want to watch Oprah..well, wait - Oprah won't even be here - so yeah, I really savor those sweet moments.

The funniest SURVIVED moment.. long story long.. we go for our 2 month appt at 3. Daddy has a client at 4:30 he thinks he can make ( I know he won't - we have shots!!). So we get our shots, you guys literally cry so hard you get your first wet tears rolling down your face, followed by mama bear tears - I mean, my heart broke. So the Hackmans pile in the van and head to show a house with daddy because he is late. Well, now we are going on being 2 hrs late for a feeding, after shots. So here I am in the aisle of our swaggerwagon playing rotate sticking the pacifier in the mouth for three purple faced crying babies. Well of course, my milk comes in full force wanting to fix the situation. Should I? I can't. So I cry, we all cry together. Daddy is back. He has another client. The 4 of us get dropped off at home. No bottles made. Again, three purple crying faces. Just have to get through..in the end, all were fed, changed and of course perfect swaddled angels by the time daddy was home...

It's been such a full 2 months and we are blessed beyond belief everyday! Love.love,love you babies! Some pictures of your 2nd month!

Some of the best moments.. morning naps after we play 

My little handfuls

So handsome

Grandma & Grandpa love us!

Playful Harper

Wow - that's me in that mirror!

Grandma and her valentine girls

Gracie in her princess throne

Is it crazy I miss those toes kicking my belly?

My attempt to photograph 3 babies for Daddy's valentines day gift

Our very 1st outing on Valentines Day to the mall!

Tummy time, again?!

Ready for our 1st walk..we're packed up again,mom?

Friday night cuddles 

Happy Valentines Day! Daddy's little girls..red roses for mama, 2 white for his little girls!

My little valentine! And to right, all dressed up for our 2 month drs appt! Daddy reading to his babies!

Here Comes the Sun...

Thank God for mornings...especially mornings with sunshine that make me feel like there is literally light at the end of the tunnel of wondering if I'm doing any of this right.

In the hours of 8 am to maybe 11 or on a good day 2.. my babies are at their sweetest and most wonderful happy selves. I can just sit and let them lead the way and actually just feel joy instead of worry or other overwhelming emotions of a new mother.

One of my most challenging, fussy we don't want to fall asleep or do anything but eat and fuss days passed and we conquered (not without tears or exhaustion from all parties) and now we are back to a blissful, "can I freeze this feeling"morning.

We come in the sun room heated by space heaters and Q and Harp "play" on their new playmat from Aunt Katie -- they bounce and kick and make their new bird "caa" noises. Q loves to watch the colors & Harp just is happy looking over at Q and feeling his soft hair. As I watch I realize, wow, these babies will always have the coolest toys -- each other! Miss Gracie is my late sleeper so she gets to finish her bottle while Q & H play..poor thing, by the time she gets to play the other 2 are tired..so she gets to play with mom :) She loves the black & white zebra print on the playmat. Gracie loves to listen to books, so by the time the other 2 actually fall asleep (yeah!! they can actually fall asleep on a flat, non swinging or vibrating surface,  we CAN do cribs!) her and I cuddle and I actually read her a magazine...she doesn't care about the content :)

And I am feeling like I have sort of figured this all out. Each day we learn a little bit more about each other.

As our morning "play time" ended today, a very fitting song came on our Pandora version of lullabies -

Tom Petty -- "Learning to fly...but I ain't got wings...coming down is the hardest thing..."

Todays message brought to you by the letter "B"

Babies --  are doing great! They continue to dig deeper in our hearts everyday. Scott & I just joked yesterday about the first time we saw them and thought.. "those are cute babies that belong to someone else..." They give us more smiles and are making different noises everyday and are getting big! We weighed them at home and Qboy weighed 9 1/2 lbs, Gracie Girl was 8 1/2 lbs and you guessed it, The Harpster was 7 1/2 lbs. The good news is they are growing and will be 7 weeks old this week .. the bad news, mom & dad have been shoving all of them in the wrong size diapers! Oops! (As in poor Harper has been squeezed into premie diapers!)

6 1/2 weeks..just hanging w/ mom...all dressed up and to the floor we go

Breastfeeding -- Oh the weird emotional rollercoaster. I came to a decision that breast feeding was great and I did my best the first 6 weeks, but since I am home some to most days by myself until we get help, it's not fun or realistic for me or the babies. So I'm still letting them feed here and there (probably more for comfort .. & probably my comfort more than theirs) & I'm still pumping until my milk is too low for it to be worth anything. So at least they are getting a bottle or two a day. I feel sad but also really good to take "one more thing" out of the equation of loving 3 babies every day.

Bedtime -- All in all, they do pretty good at going down for us in the overnight hours after feedings. Sometimes they fuss and we are approaching the wonderful question of "when do we let them cry?" I always always pick them up and think they are still young enough to do so..but we have to be careful to not create monsters! In fact, Miss Harper has figured out that at 7 am ( no matter what schedule we are on.. like she could have eaten an hour earlier & fallen asleep) she will cry until Daddy picks her up and cuddles her in bed. EVERY MORNING! We are patiently awaiting our night nanny to come help..our first 2 scheduled nights were canceled due to her kids being sick & the terrible ice storm .. the longer I wait the more I have to think about someone else feeding and holding our babies instead of us! I really do want the sleep (we plan to have them 3 nights a week from 10p-6a) but I am also starting to feel a little sad I won't be the one picking up those little babies when they need it.. :(  Ah..the mom of triplets -- you want to do it all and you just can't. It seems like my expectations/hopes never can quite match the outcome/reality (which is also harder to do when you only sleep a total of 3-4 interrupted hours a night)

Bottles and Boppies-- The daytime chores get done by superwoman when I'm by myself because there is no other choice. A typical day by myself... Daddy (hopefully on most days) helps w/ 8 am feeding and then he goes to work and all 4 of us lay in bed (babies on boppies, I don't trust my tired self alone) and this is one of my favorite times of the day -- we just lay and the babies are always happy and kicking and getting to know the world around them (talking to 3 babies in itself is awesome but who knew it could be so exhausting to speak in "parent-ese" to 3 wide eyes staring up at you)  They all get bottles around 11 (not my favorite thing because I typically have to let one lay in the boppy and eat and I have to have all 3 by me to juggle paci's while the others wait in line..sometimes a tragic and sad 1-2 hrs) and then by 1 pm I get an A+ if they are all fed, changed and down to nap. They really do like "the" playlist that has followed us from the womb to now and calm down to Jack Johnson every time.Then I get an hour and a half to eat, wash bottles, make pitchers of formula, throw laundry in and then get bottles ready. Then we feed & get our outfits on for the day (this is the fun part where I play house & dress my dolls & ask them what they want to wear like they have an opinion) and then either lay on blanket together or fall asleep again. By the 5 pm we hope Daddy is home and another feeding and then back on the blanket to kick and check out the baby next to them...still not totally into each other but have been grabbing each others hands or touching another's hair. Sometimes we read books and they seem to really like this. After the 8 pm feed, we like to gear towards sleepy-town and swaddle and cuddle or swing and sleep. And then after the 11 - its into the bedroom where the space heater has been on, the humidifier is going, it's dark and Jewel's lullabies are playing...and off we go for adventures in nighttime.. 

Big Ice Storm of 2011 -- the best thing in the world... Daddy has been home with us for 2 days! No matter what happens, all of this is easier and more fun when we are home to share in it all. We all got to lay in bed this morning and just be a family. And besides..doesn't hurt for him to see what mama does all day :) 

Bye for now -- another feeding calls.. 

Who is sleepier? Quinn or Mama?

Harper Time & Daddy napping away the ice storm 

Yes, Gracie..what is your question?

Hello Quinn!

Harper & Mama in the Moby wrap..helping supermoms everywhere

Daddy brought us home these outfits -- he has good taste!

Baths & Growth Spurts

First of all, it is 3:25 and I have not even looked in a mirror today or brushed my teeth or thought about lunch...and my mom is still here helping! I'm scared for a day alone..

The babies MUST be going through a growth spurt. It has taken since the 8 am feed to get them calm. I'm looking at three swaddled and happy campers - but oh did my mom and I work to get here today! Gone are the days of waking sleepy babies to eat. (Which I am thankful for!) They seem to want to eat every 2 hours if not before that. So we are doing our best to get everyone fed "on demand" (there is no other way - I love a schedule but if I was so hungry it made me scream and violently attack a pacifier I would want fed). So I'm still nursing and in fact, getting to almost the 6th week has been well worth the climb up the hill. My milk is a little better (last night at the 2 am feed I looked down to see milk overflowing from a bottle while pumping - now that is a "pat on the back"). And all except Harper latch on without the nipple shield now. I can't keep up with all they need, and I am, of course, supplementing w/ formula, but it's going well enough to bump my goal to 8 weeks.

In fact, being able to nurse before their baths for a little bit of comfort (for them and maybe for me too..) was worth all the work we've put in. And although baths are seriously a marathon, they are SO worth the sleepy, calm babies you get after. I've moved the baths into our master bath so I can turn a space heater on and shut the doors. We play music and everybody gets forced one on time.. I love that. And I switched to the Mustela foam newborn shampoo and it is awesome! I don't have to take the time to pour out J&J.. it just pumps and it foams on their little head perfectly. And it smells so good! After their baths and bottles they had a very peaceful night..and then the sun came up. And we start all over again! I am thinking it's time we have 2 baths a week instead of one...

Misc pics of feeding & baths through the weeks....

I need another hand!

How big am I? Gracie at 3 weeks

Daddy & Gracie

1st bath at 1 week old

3 week old fuzzy head Gracie after bath

Quinn!

Happy Harper 

7 weeks old in our gowns and caps post nap

Baths make me sleepy...Harper

Smooches for the baby boy

First of all, it is 3:25 and I have not even looked in a mirror today or brushed my teeth or thought about lunch...and my mom is still here helping! I'm scared for a day alone..

The babies MUST be going through a growth spurt. It has taken since the 8 am feed to get them calm. I'm looking at three swaddled and happy campers - but oh did my mom and I work to get here today! Gone are the days of waking sleepy babies to eat. (Which I am thankful for!) They seem to want to eat every 2 hours if not before that. So we are doing our best to get everyone fed "on demand" (there is no other way - I love a schedule but if I was so hungry it made me scream and violently attack a pacifier I would want fed). So I'm still nursing and in fact, getting to almost the 6th week has been well worth the climb up the hill. My milk is a little better (last night at the 2 am feed I looked down to see milk overflowing from a bottle while pumping - now that is a "pat on the back"). And all except Harper latch on without the nipple shield now. I can't keep up with all they need, and I am, of course, supplementing w/ formula, but it's going well enough to bump my goal to 8 weeks.

In fact, being able to nurse before their baths for a little bit of comfort (for them and maybe for me too..) was worth all the work we've put in. And although baths are seriously a marathon, they are SO worth the sleepy, calm babies you get after. I've moved the baths into our master bath so I can turn a space heater on and shut the doors. We play music and everybody gets forced one on time.. I love that. And I switched to the Mustela foam newborn shampoo and it is awesome! I don't have to take the time to pour out J&J.. it just pumps and it foams on their little head perfectly. And it smells so good! After their baths and bottles they had a very peaceful night..and then the sun came up. And we start all over again! I am thinking it's time we have 2 baths a week instead of one...

4 weeks, where did you go?

I know everyone says it..but wow does time fly by once those babies come out! It felt like the first week CRAWLED since we slept zero out of 24 hours most of those days, but now all of a sudden, our preemie babies look like full term babies with their chubby bellies and REALLY chubby chipmunk cheeks. And I can actually fall asleep without worrying they will stop breathing (although still does cross my mind).

1 month stats from drs appt!

We got our first shots - Hep B. Everyone did good...but no fun to watch our little babes get stuck and get red in the face!

Quinn, the butterball - 8.3 lbs / 20 1/4 inches

Harper, working to catch up - 6.5 lbs / 19 1/2 inches

Gracie, holding her own - 7.7 lbs / 20 inches

What has happened this first month? So much and so little all at the same time! Lots of sleepy cuddles and lots and lots of feedings and diaper changes. "The Happiest Baby on the Block" WORKS -- swaddle, suck, swing, shushing and stomach = three happy babies! Our first story time with mama (all still able to fit on my lap at once!) Lots of more eye contact and peepers are open way more and seem much more alert. Working on belly time (nobody really likes it) and it's hard to find the time to be on our belly with three bellies to feed! And maybe the best moments of them all.. the quiet time of rocking or walking in the dark hours or recognizing voices and calming down and just the way those little bodies still feel so small and cuddly on our chests. So we always remember, here is a little note to these three miracles...since I may never get around to that baby book...


Dear Quinn, Harper & Gracie,

What happened the first month of your lives??? Well, as I remember it, here are some highlights...you may remember it different, but there may be a reason we don't remember our days as a newborn..because you may really think your parents don't know anything. :)


From day one (and actually in the womb) you guys know music!  You all love noise and will calm down to rocking, hushing and humming. I like to think we are steering you to good music...current nighttime play list includes some of the following - you have heard these songs in the womb and still do - maybe when you are older you will love these???

- Elton John (sorry,mama's fav) "Your Song" "Rocket Man" "Captain Fantastic" "Candle in the Wind"
- Paul Simon - "Slip Sliding Away"
- Jimmy Buffet " Little Miss Magic"
- Sonny & Cher " I Got You Babe"
- Kenny Loggins "Chains of Love"
- Dixie Chicks "God Speed"
- Indigo Girls " Mona Lisa and Madhatters"
- Grateful Dead "Ripple" "Box of Rain"
- Jack Johnson "Constellations" "Banana Pancakes"
- Ben Harper "When you Dream"
And our special songs.. "The Mighty Quinn" by Bob Dylan and "Gracie Girl" by Ben Folds (Harper, we are working on a song.. maybe you will be our writer... as in, Harper Lee...)


Quinn - you look JUST like your daddy. I love it. My heart could not dance more when I look at you and see TWO boys I love :) You are a cuddler and such a boy all at the same time. You started out slow with eating, but you are my best nurser. You take eating slow and steady - but you are up to almost 4 oz and must be just a growing boy because you have been more hungry lately.You still fuss at night and want to be rocked, but overall you are very calm and when you lay between your sisters crying, you stay so relaxed and have a look like, "what's the big deal??" I love staring at your face when you sleep in my arms - you look so handsome with all of your little faces.. smiles, grunty old man faces and such sweet little lip puckers. You make the sweetest little mmm noises when you eat - it makes my heart melt. You and daddy like to go in the bedroom and watch football when the girls stay out in the living room watching The Bachelor. You may not be a mama's boy yet..but I am the boy's mama, and wow do I like you! (Even though you pee all over everything from all of your outfits, to blankets, to the blinds behind the changing table :)

Harper - you are SUCH a funny baby. You of course started out the smallest, but wow are you mighty. You are so strong and when you lay on your back sometimes I think you are just about ready to roll on over. You look a little bit like your Grandma Richards, who you are named after. When you and Grandma talk you always look up at her and really listen. Sometimes I think you are smarter than us all.   You are the best sleeper once asleep, but when you are hungry or want held, WATCH OUT.. you can let those lungs rip and your whole sad face cries. I really can't stand to see you cry. The other day you were choking on your spit up and it was my first really afraid moment as a mama..you were OK - but I wasn't :( I HATED seeing you scared! On, the flip side..your little side smile makes me smile. You have been our middle of the night alarm clock. When you are upset, I love to apply the "5 S's" because it works like a charm with you! You are very alert and like to look around rather than cuddle up on somebody's chest. I savor when you do cuddle up on me with your head sideways. Your perfect little cheeks get so red from laying on my chest. My favorite is waking you up and kissing your soft, full mooshy cheeks -- can I always kiss your cheeks?

Gracie - you are my sugarpie. You are everything a little girl is...it just looks like you were born in pink and purple and you have long curly eyelashes. You cry to be held and oh my, do you ever love cuddling on your papa's chest or shoulder. You are starting to look more and more like your daddy with your dark features. You love being read to or you will listen to silly made up stories and fall asleep. You smile a lot and are most content in someones arms. You eat like a champ and are always done before everybody else! And Miss Gracie..as girly as you are..you literally poop all day, everyday. Your blowouts have been comic relief for those middle of the night feedings more than once. You love your paci and seem to make out with it when you are getting hungry. "Mmmm rrrr mmmm" -- it's very funny :) You were really fussy one night and we had been up since 5 am when the sun started to come up.. I was getting really tired & frustrated, but then we went and laid on the couch together and I saw your profile.. it was the SAME profile we saw at every ultrasound!! It made me cry and I was thankful in that moment for the miracle of you no matter what time it was!
                                                                              -------
What do we do all day??

Well...last night after the 8 pm feeding, mama pumps and then holds babies until 10 when I "go to bed". Daddy & Grandma do the 11 pm feeding and try to feed a little more so your bellies start to get ready to sleep longer (any day now would be fine..:) ) Mama and Grandma up at 2 am, warm bottles and either wake babies or take the hungriest hippos first.. a typical wake,feed,burp,change,re-swaddle takes 1 1/2 hours w/ two hands on deck - mama pumps,again.. Grandma normally stays up to rock the lucky baby she has. Mama and Papa up at 5 am for feeding, run into packnplay because so tired. mama pumps again. Rock or walk fussy baby in the dark and although exhausted, one of my favorite moments.  Daddy up at 7:45 am to get bottles going, and 8 am feeding starts. One baby breastfeeds while mama is walking dead, pumps again. Other two bottles. If lucky, back for a nap. 11 am feeding, same all over again. Done by 12:30. Bottles, laundry, holding babies. We love Grandma for helping with all of this. Mama worries about tummy time.. when will we do it? Maybe a Starbucks run while running to get formula. Back to feed,nurse,pump for 2 pm. Fussy and ALL ready to eat. Grandma makes bottles. Here is the scene - Me, pumping and holding Gracie on my lap and swaying her on my lap. Harper in my right arm hovering over Gracie and swinging in my arm. Left arm bouncing Quinn in boppy lounger..AND all are quiet = success. Done eating by 3:30. Cuddle babies. Pump. Hope Daddy makes it home for 5 pm feeding. On 3rd or 4th outfits for the day. Oh, that dang tummy time. Quick, sneak tummy time in before feeding. Everyone cries..nobody likes being tested for head and neck abilities. 5 pm feeding..smooth today, Daddy is home -- big snowstorm, yeah!! Done by 6 because 3 get fed at once! Change diapers. Cuddle baby..growth spurts..feed somebody again an hour later (mastering the art of cluster feeding) update blog..time to pump...and the beat goes on..(And most nights a warm dinner is on the way -- THANK YOU FAMILY & FRIENDS for feeding us because otherwise it may not get done!!) Here are some new pics!!

Gracie and Quinn showing off with Daddy

Harper and Daddy

Hanging out with Grandma

Our first storytime..everyone loved it

It's a sleepy job being this Gracie-pie cute

Harper can't get close enough.. LOVE IT!

Gracie, I'm your big brother..I'll make it better!

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Pictures

Our awesome photographer spent 5 hours of practicing patience with our sweet babies to capture their soft ooey,gooey bodies and faces. I may be bias, but I think God gave us beautiful gifts! Thank you Cory Bracey - Footprintsofgrace.com

Quinn and his happy dreams

Sweet Boy 

Mamas Boy...Awe

Sassy Harper

Pretty Lil Harper

Sweet Gracie

Harper,Quinn,Gracie

Sister sandwich with Quinn in the middle

Miss Gracie