Survived & Savored - 2 months!

From a blog I found on a friend's blog .. truly the truth.

"Trust your instincts. You might not think you know what you're doing, but I promise you do.

Expect that it will hurt, expect that it will be hard, and expect that you can do it anyway. You're a rockstar, after all. You were made for this.

Cherish those first few days. They are straight up magic."

-rockstar diaries

2 month naked babies! Watch us grow!

Gracie 10 lbs 22 inches Quinn 11.8 lbs 22 inches Harper 9 lbs 22 inches 

Dear Quinn, Harper Gracie -

It's already been another month of getting to know all three of you and discovering our strengths and weaknesses as your parents. I am certain of one thing, we are not always perfect but every move we make in your direction is with a crazy love that I hope you feel even when you are crying because once again you get mommy's favorite saying each day "you're next sweet baby". If you end up someday in counseling because you always had to wait and you have a complex, please know if I could do our many hours alone together any smoother, I would -- but for now, it's my best and it's all I have :) But we do it.. the four of us, when daddy is at work, grandma is at home and nobody is here to help - we do it together, and we will always have those memories, just us.

I don't really have organized thoughts of what has happened over the last month, nor have I updated or even started your baby books. Oops, Quinn I just realized with the last minute game decision on Quinn, your baby book says Finley all over it...

Anyways, my general reflection of the last month is confidence, trust and believing. I think your daddy and I have picked up speed with digging deep on intuition and to just go with it. I wish I had a video (well, not really) of what happens here during feedings. I have been known to hold a bottle with my calf, reaching over to feed another baby with the third on my forearm rocking you while of course saying, "you're next.." And night feedings - well, we got smart. We still get up most nights, but we hired a nice girl to come 2 nights and feed you so we can sleep for 6 hours - yeah! And let me tell you, I am SUPERMOM those next days! But other than that, I feel like I sort of know what I'm doing and I know your daddy feels the same way. After all, you are part of us..you grew in my belly - we are the most qualified. We know more about you than any book, blog or website will ever know. Intuition and trust in expecting the best is real and when I listen to that, the ship sails smooth...and when I don't - well, it's a little more bumpy.

Let's see...we have retired mama's milk. Very sad for mama, but you guys don't seem to care. Tears have and will be shed, but we made it to 8 weeks to the day. Not shabby for a 3 to 1 ratio...

My favorite time is still the morning, you guys are so happy and just bounce and kick on your playmats! I prayed so long for a "healthy bouncy baby" ( in those exact words) and I look down and I see that God decided to just go ahead and say, "Here you get THREE really BOUNCY and KICKING babies!" and my heart skips a beat. My other favorite is how the same week you all discovered yourself in the mirror on your swing..you all look up like, "wow..that is cool!"

Other fun things..our first Valentines Day and our first outing with Laura and our friend baby Raya! Also it was 60 degrees so we went on our first walk in the big triple stroller - it was sunny and you all slept so peacefully while mama got her first "workout".

My favorite SAVORED moment... Fridays after I get out and get some "me time" and coming home to do a feeding with Grandma and then going in our big king sized bed and cuddling, just the 4 of us and watching Oprah. Life stands still and I know someday you guys won't fit on me or want to watch Oprah..well, wait - Oprah won't even be here - so yeah, I really savor those sweet moments.

The funniest SURVIVED moment.. long story long.. we go for our 2 month appt at 3. Daddy has a client at 4:30 he thinks he can make ( I know he won't - we have shots!!). So we get our shots, you guys literally cry so hard you get your first wet tears rolling down your face, followed by mama bear tears - I mean, my heart broke. So the Hackmans pile in the van and head to show a house with daddy because he is late. Well, now we are going on being 2 hrs late for a feeding, after shots. So here I am in the aisle of our swaggerwagon playing rotate sticking the pacifier in the mouth for three purple faced crying babies. Well of course, my milk comes in full force wanting to fix the situation. Should I? I can't. So I cry, we all cry together. Daddy is back. He has another client. The 4 of us get dropped off at home. No bottles made. Again, three purple crying faces. Just have to get through..in the end, all were fed, changed and of course perfect swaddled angels by the time daddy was home...

It's been such a full 2 months and we are blessed beyond belief everyday! Love.love,love you babies! Some pictures of your 2nd month!

Some of the best moments.. morning naps after we play 

My little handfuls

So handsome

Grandma & Grandpa love us!

Playful Harper

Wow - that's me in that mirror!

Grandma and her valentine girls

Gracie in her princess throne

Is it crazy I miss those toes kicking my belly?

My attempt to photograph 3 babies for Daddy's valentines day gift

Our very 1st outing on Valentines Day to the mall!

Tummy time, again?!

Ready for our 1st walk..we're packed up again,mom?

Friday night cuddles 

Happy Valentines Day! Daddy's little girls..red roses for mama, 2 white for his little girls!

My little valentine! And to right, all dressed up for our 2 month drs appt! Daddy reading to his babies!

Here Comes the Sun...

Thank God for mornings...especially mornings with sunshine that make me feel like there is literally light at the end of the tunnel of wondering if I'm doing any of this right.

In the hours of 8 am to maybe 11 or on a good day 2.. my babies are at their sweetest and most wonderful happy selves. I can just sit and let them lead the way and actually just feel joy instead of worry or other overwhelming emotions of a new mother.

One of my most challenging, fussy we don't want to fall asleep or do anything but eat and fuss days passed and we conquered (not without tears or exhaustion from all parties) and now we are back to a blissful, "can I freeze this feeling"morning.

We come in the sun room heated by space heaters and Q and Harp "play" on their new playmat from Aunt Katie -- they bounce and kick and make their new bird "caa" noises. Q loves to watch the colors & Harp just is happy looking over at Q and feeling his soft hair. As I watch I realize, wow, these babies will always have the coolest toys -- each other! Miss Gracie is my late sleeper so she gets to finish her bottle while Q & H play..poor thing, by the time she gets to play the other 2 are tired..so she gets to play with mom :) She loves the black & white zebra print on the playmat. Gracie loves to listen to books, so by the time the other 2 actually fall asleep (yeah!! they can actually fall asleep on a flat, non swinging or vibrating surface,  we CAN do cribs!) her and I cuddle and I actually read her a magazine...she doesn't care about the content :)

And I am feeling like I have sort of figured this all out. Each day we learn a little bit more about each other.

As our morning "play time" ended today, a very fitting song came on our Pandora version of lullabies -

Tom Petty -- "Learning to fly...but I ain't got wings...coming down is the hardest thing..."

Todays message brought to you by the letter "B"

Babies --  are doing great! They continue to dig deeper in our hearts everyday. Scott & I just joked yesterday about the first time we saw them and thought.. "those are cute babies that belong to someone else..." They give us more smiles and are making different noises everyday and are getting big! We weighed them at home and Qboy weighed 9 1/2 lbs, Gracie Girl was 8 1/2 lbs and you guessed it, The Harpster was 7 1/2 lbs. The good news is they are growing and will be 7 weeks old this week .. the bad news, mom & dad have been shoving all of them in the wrong size diapers! Oops! (As in poor Harper has been squeezed into premie diapers!)

6 1/2 weeks..just hanging w/ mom...all dressed up and to the floor we go

Breastfeeding -- Oh the weird emotional rollercoaster. I came to a decision that breast feeding was great and I did my best the first 6 weeks, but since I am home some to most days by myself until we get help, it's not fun or realistic for me or the babies. So I'm still letting them feed here and there (probably more for comfort .. & probably my comfort more than theirs) & I'm still pumping until my milk is too low for it to be worth anything. So at least they are getting a bottle or two a day. I feel sad but also really good to take "one more thing" out of the equation of loving 3 babies every day.

Bedtime -- All in all, they do pretty good at going down for us in the overnight hours after feedings. Sometimes they fuss and we are approaching the wonderful question of "when do we let them cry?" I always always pick them up and think they are still young enough to do so..but we have to be careful to not create monsters! In fact, Miss Harper has figured out that at 7 am ( no matter what schedule we are on.. like she could have eaten an hour earlier & fallen asleep) she will cry until Daddy picks her up and cuddles her in bed. EVERY MORNING! We are patiently awaiting our night nanny to come help..our first 2 scheduled nights were canceled due to her kids being sick & the terrible ice storm .. the longer I wait the more I have to think about someone else feeding and holding our babies instead of us! I really do want the sleep (we plan to have them 3 nights a week from 10p-6a) but I am also starting to feel a little sad I won't be the one picking up those little babies when they need it.. :(  Ah..the mom of triplets -- you want to do it all and you just can't. It seems like my expectations/hopes never can quite match the outcome/reality (which is also harder to do when you only sleep a total of 3-4 interrupted hours a night)

Bottles and Boppies-- The daytime chores get done by superwoman when I'm by myself because there is no other choice. A typical day by myself... Daddy (hopefully on most days) helps w/ 8 am feeding and then he goes to work and all 4 of us lay in bed (babies on boppies, I don't trust my tired self alone) and this is one of my favorite times of the day -- we just lay and the babies are always happy and kicking and getting to know the world around them (talking to 3 babies in itself is awesome but who knew it could be so exhausting to speak in "parent-ese" to 3 wide eyes staring up at you)  They all get bottles around 11 (not my favorite thing because I typically have to let one lay in the boppy and eat and I have to have all 3 by me to juggle paci's while the others wait in line..sometimes a tragic and sad 1-2 hrs) and then by 1 pm I get an A+ if they are all fed, changed and down to nap. They really do like "the" playlist that has followed us from the womb to now and calm down to Jack Johnson every time.Then I get an hour and a half to eat, wash bottles, make pitchers of formula, throw laundry in and then get bottles ready. Then we feed & get our outfits on for the day (this is the fun part where I play house & dress my dolls & ask them what they want to wear like they have an opinion) and then either lay on blanket together or fall asleep again. By the 5 pm we hope Daddy is home and another feeding and then back on the blanket to kick and check out the baby next to them...still not totally into each other but have been grabbing each others hands or touching another's hair. Sometimes we read books and they seem to really like this. After the 8 pm feed, we like to gear towards sleepy-town and swaddle and cuddle or swing and sleep. And then after the 11 - its into the bedroom where the space heater has been on, the humidifier is going, it's dark and Jewel's lullabies are playing...and off we go for adventures in nighttime.. 

Big Ice Storm of 2011 -- the best thing in the world... Daddy has been home with us for 2 days! No matter what happens, all of this is easier and more fun when we are home to share in it all. We all got to lay in bed this morning and just be a family. And besides..doesn't hurt for him to see what mama does all day :) 

Bye for now -- another feeding calls.. 

Who is sleepier? Quinn or Mama?

Harper Time & Daddy napping away the ice storm 

Yes, Gracie..what is your question?

Hello Quinn!

Harper & Mama in the Moby wrap..helping supermoms everywhere

Daddy brought us home these outfits -- he has good taste!