Mandolin Rain... Washing away the Yeast in my Body

There is absolutely no rhyme or reason that I have named this post Mandolin Rain other than that for the last few weeks I have been hearing this song at random times in random places, while at other times, I will just crave hearing it and start humming it to myself. No reason, just makes me happy - sometimes it really is the little things that get you through. 

Today is a day that I need Mandolin Rain to wash me away again...

It started at 6 am when the alarm went off too early, which led me to snooze a half hour longer, which meant that I would be doing the ponytail look, which meant I would have those awesome curls of half grown hair curling around my face all day.  (I get those curly baby hairs so bad that the word baby shouldn't be used, it's too cute to describe the way they look - my husband has named them "Shirley" like Shirley Curly..cute, I know). Anyways, back to the day...

This is the 2nd day of my Candida Yeast Cleanse, which my wonderful husband has committed to doing alongside me. It's not easy - in fact, right now, I feel like puking...kind of like I already did this morning. So, poor choice to only have a protein shake (allowed on my cleanse - yes! Serves as a milkshake!) before going to have a balloon inserted up my cervix into my uterus followed by some weird die injected into my fallopian tubes. Poor choice to NOT follow the nurses recommendations of taking 800 mg Ibuprofen. Poor choice to even do this HSG...because I knew, I just knew - it's not my plumbing. 

But I did it anyways. I got in my gown, waited on the radiologist table, watched them suit up in astronaut looking suits and then surrendered all and posted my legs into the almighty stir-ups. Who doesn't love stir ups on a humid June morning? I got the normal, "you will feel my hand, now the speculum..." that you do during your annual date with your gyny...only this time, it wasn't "slight crampy feeling" followed by the ooey goey sensation of leftover ky. This time, the speculum turned into a balloon being crammed up the cervix towards my poor little uterus (which really is small - never knew!) and then twisty feelings like men marching in the forest trying to find their way back home. And then the dye. I think the dye is where it went all wrong. I instantly had to poop, and no, not the menstrual type of cramp that you mistake for a poop pain, poop, and large amounts of it, coming out like a turtle head. My temp shot up about 10 degrees and vomit started going up my throat. I barely remember Dr. M coming around the table to explain what just happened. 

I will say, it's cool to watch dye spread through your tubes, especially when you see that the channel of love is flowing free and open for business. Dr. M said, "Well, kiddo, you have a textbook tubes and uterus.." which was good to hear while I'm laying in my blue robe that opens in the front while staring at a screen that finally offered a positive outcome. But like I said, no surprise...I know it's my hormones. Those damn hormones...

So, hopefully this cleanse will help. Who knows? But in the words of Dr. M, "Can't Hurt, Might Help", I am trying. I figure the worst thing that happens is that I clear out some of that gunk, sugar and crap that I love to shove in those intestines, and the best thing that could happen would be that my body says, Ok! Now we can give you some ovaries that know how to get it done! 

So, 14 more days of this...14 days of high protein, nuts, beans and veggies and terrible empty, unsatisfied feelings of yuckiness. Over 16 pills a day, drops of silver in my mouth and shots of disgusting fiber...

Can I/We do it??? Stay tuned...meals are going to have to get real creative at this point, or there may just be some serious crashing at the Hackman house..