4 months and an end to the 4th trimester

(yep, a novel. there IS three babies! Seriously, annoyingly long, I apologize)

4 month starting lineup!

Quinn Scott - 17 lbs 25 1/2 inches

Harper Jo - 12.7 lbs 23 1/2 inches

Gracie Jean - 14.7 lbs 24 1/2 inches

A sneak peek into catching a good photo of three babies that just happen to all be squirmy 4 month olds..

In our usual monthly snapshot spread...hmmm. Harper, "I love my feet".  Quinn "Help." Gracie "Yaaaawn."

Add props? Nope.

Change locations? Harper "I WANT MY FEET!" Quinn "Mom, you are hilarious!" Gracie "Quinn, stop encouraging her"

Getting to 4 months has felt like we crawled out of the fog from the first 3 months of hibernation and chaos...sometimes referred to as that 4th trimester. This is where babies need fed & changed every 3 hours around the clock without giving much back -  they are still sort of cooking, sleeping and finishing up what they started in the womb (especially our babies since they got evicted a month early anyways!) Don't get me wrong, sometimes I'm sad they hold their head up off my chest now instead of being snoogly and oogly and morphing to you. In fact, when did the transition to hip held babies happen??

What's been going on around here???

Lots of smiling and gooing, ooing and aahing.  The best smile watching time is 1st thing in the morning - big open mouth smiles that just say "Hey, thanks for getting up to love us another day!" It's so weird that all of a sudden when you put them all on their play mat they all jabber and giggle and kick until they can't kick anymore. Lots of rolling over (still only from back to belly...Harper is close to the reverse & can do if propped:) ) Lots of grabbing at hanging things or moms shirt..although we haven't quite learned to "grab and go on to the next".. it's a grab & hold on for dear life because they think they may never get to grab again. My favorite grab is when you go to put a pacifier in a sleepy mouth and they quickly grab your hand with both hands as to keep your touch there while they fall asleep..It melts me! Giggles that come out like "he,he,he" & straight from the belly. Squeels. Tummy time with strong heads & love to look at books or flashing lights on our farm when on our tummy. We grab each others hair or just place a hand on somebodys chest and sometimes even grab eyeballs, ouch! We got baptized and were just perfect little babies for the occasion! We started, sadly, to lose our dark hair :( We sport mullets right now. We have movie Fridays & watch Baby Einstein up in our loft, but mom doesn't let us have popcorn yet. We had our first sickness :( Quinn had to spend 2 nights at Riley...but DID NOT have RSV (thankfully) and really just got observed. Daddy had fun with just the girls while Quinn & Mommy spent time at the hospital. No spring break for us - but lots and lots of walks outside when it's nice & we've been going out for a meal about once every week. We even went to Patachou and to the mall on our 4 month birthday! The comments are always entertaining when out...but people with triplets get to live too, right? Winner of the month: Walks straight up to our table, looks at the babies and says, "I feel so bad for you.." Hmm, thanks. (Still working on our perfect catch all comeback). As much as I love the morning, there is nothing I look forward to more than kissing each of those sleeping heads a few hours after they've fallen asleep.

Sleeping...

Day starts around 7 am, throw in a few naps (some good, some bad, some non-existent), mom up to cribs, mom down from cribs, repeat until bedtime. Asleep by 8 pm.  Do it all again.

Eating...

All on the same formula and all of Neosure (the preemie formula). Eating Similac Sensitive. Quinn 7 ozs / Harper 5 ozs on a good day / Gracie 6 1/2-7 ozswould eat 10 ozs if we let her


And to each baby...

Quinn Scott -- Mr. Quinn. You win everybody's heart with your big open mouth smile and happy eyes. You are the baby boy that they would put in a baby commercial - kicking, chubby, smiling, cooing and happy. You LOVE to be talked to and you may love it even more to talk back. You get serious about your talking and your mouth goes into an o shape and will coo and ooo for 5 mins with increasing volume as to say, "Listen to me, I have an opinion!" It was the worst to see you in your little peach gown in the hospital, but you smiled the whole time and got better pretty quickly. The nurses all loved you and you would smile and flirt with them. Mama held you almost the whole 2 days you spent at the hospital & couldn't leave your side! You were breathing so fast & had to do breathing treatments! Mama made you eat anytime those eyes were open..no IV for you! Daddy & your sisters really missed you. You rolled over so early and then just stopped! When we asked the doctor why you stopped, he said you were maybe just a little chubby at 17 lbs to be flopping over very easily :) You are again, finally. You just keep growing like a puppy! You are in 9 month clothing! Your best time is in the morning and you always, always wake up with  kicking feet and a smile from ear to ear. You are the biggest cuddler

Harper Jo-- Oh Harper. You are like a little sunshine that if not given a nap or forced to take a bottle can hide behind a cloud ;) You get 2 pictures this month to show just how stubborn you are! I always say you are a baby that knows what you want... and this baby DOES NOT want to smile for a picture on the chair! Such a smiley baby until on the chair for a picture! But put you in the crib with your mobile and boom, instant grin! (Notice Harper is really starting to notice those feet & they are much more fun than smiling for a picture!) You also are smiley in the morning and for sure are the early bird of the group! You can't wait to get up and hang out with your mobile friends in the morning. You love your crib and will fall asleep so easily as soon as you are placed in their when you are tired- you sleep so peacefully. You also love to kick & squeel & grab at hanging fish in the ocean playmat. You only cuddle when you are really sleepy. If you don't want your bottle, well lookout. Only the "milkanator" can get you to finish (mom). And oh the hours we have spent together trying to get you to eat your bottle, little girl. And then all of a sudden, I will forget the fight when you look at me with that huge grin with your little side head tilt like you are shy :) And when you cry and we just can't quite get to you because of 2 other little bodies...you get little crocodile tears running down your cheeks - heartbreaking! Your eyes are staying a pretty blue and your skin is still like porcelain. We are working on keeping your little active self on your tummy because your poor little head is getting really flat on one side! From sharing a room in the womb to favoring that side of your head now, we need to get you back on track as that brain grows or we may have to sport a helmet! But you HATE tummy time and will start to twist & roll your little self before you hit the floor. Again..you always know what you want, and someday my prayer is that  you still do..and you use it to your benefit :)

Gracie Jean - little pumpkin. Oh my what a different little girl you are on sensitive formula! You are still our "Gassy Gracie"(sorry babe) but you are so peaceful, content & smiley now! For the baby that waited 2 weeks after your brother & sister to finally smile (seriously started to wonder if you would ever smile) you are such a sweet little giggler and grinner now! You have the sweetest little he,he laugh and you mostly like to laugh at Daddy, your hero. In fact, you do like to be held, but when that guy Daddy holds you, you look proud and as content as can be. You look just like him! Your dark hair is finally falling out and your eyes are mostly still blue with specks of brown. You are such a funny baby to watch.. some of our favorite things to watch you do (if you knew how you make us laugh!) -- when you grab onto your pacifier and hold & protect it while you suck away...  when you yawn and your mouth gets so wide & then you let out the sweetest and loudest "ahhhhhhhh" (like a lion yawning - mamas favorite!) and then another favorite is your "I'm tired" whine ... like a tired bird.. "caaa...coooowww...caaaooo." So sweet. You LOVE to chew on your hands and try to stick that whole fist in there! And wow do you like to eat. You will finish 6-7 ozs in 5-10 minutes. And the burps that follow..oh my! Your head is so strong on your tummy and you take tummy time like a champ. And when you swing or hang out in your crib, you just jabber and make sweet singing noises. You often have a face like you are really thinking.. I just can't wait to know what those thoughts are Gracie girl!

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And finally, an obnoxious amount of pictures from month 3... again, theres 3 of them!

the 1st time Harper held a toy and worked her biceps

My 2 favorite boys - the morning we got released from Riley

The sunshine side of Harper

Dads hat. Not because its cute. Because it actually fits. 

Dinner @ Scottys - Gracie can't believe she found a ceiling fan, what luck!

A peaceful spring day 

One of the 1sst times a smile was shared to one another 

Just a chat.. our version of The View 

Of course Harper wants to feed herself

Dad, I'm marrying you 

The day I prayed for something easy...and my angels showed up (following Riley & a long week!) 

Look closely...since there were three of my friends here, every baby got a nap holder..Harper was so relaxed she drooled...

The world through rose colored glasses 

Why not get a nose stud? (yes, its fake before you judge)

It was time to graduate to a sitting bath for Quinn. Next stop, chiropractor. 

I love this bath 

Baptism Day - The girls wore Grandma Richards dresses from when she was a baby! Very cool & beautiful!

Gracie's post baptism party outfit 

And Quinns...

Quinn: "Big boys are so cool." Grayson" Does this kid do anything?"

And finally..Harper, the after party

The Cousins (well..some of them..)

Harper loving life outside in the breeze with Grandpa

The life. Napping outside after party 

Happy

Do you even know how cool this thing is?

Movie Time!

We never match..but when it's this cute???!!

Ok, maybe sometimes we match. Gracie just wants to make sure Harper isn't going anywhere

Oh the cuddles...I'll take them

Gracie, what are you thinking?

A little song after a bath

Protecting the Paci

Our First Easter & The Wiggle Room

We actually got up, got dressed and made it to church for our 1st Easter service as a family!

In our Sunday hats & bonnets... Quinn, Gracie & Harper 

It helped we got there a little early & ate bottles in our seats 20 mins before the service. We sat down in front to have room for the car seats...probably good and bad for us, since, as always, we were quite the spectacle. The pastor (who always seems larger than life in our HUGE church..Dave Rod at Grace CC for those that know him) came over and made a point to say, Hey, thanks for stealing the show and sitting down front..(with a big smile) & told us how gorgeous the babies were :) And then the choir came out and all stared (later to find out that they had put the video on the babies for them to see backstage! Geez...the life of celebrities ;)

Easter is always one of my favorite holidays, but this Easter was great for different reasons. No candy, no easter eggs and not even an Easter Dinner (unless Starbucks counts?). But we stood in church as a family singing and giving thanks to God while we celebrate the basis of all that we believe. I couldn't help but have vivid flashes of the first breath of life (x3) that happened this past December 16th and just stand in awe of all of our mysterious and wonderful blessings.

Our friends had told us about a "wiggle room" where you take crying babies during the service. As we stood as a family, the babies looked around at the lights and music, perfectly content...but I had uncontrollable tears in front of the whole church because I felt so truly blessed this Easter...wondering if I should just go visit the wiggle room... ?

Some pictures of our bunnies :)

Gracie, Q & Harps

G,Q,H - Ready to Eat like little birds!

One Easter Basket..

Two Easter Basket...

Three Easter Basket!

Dancing & Singing

I often feel guilty and spread out thin with loving three equally. Something I'm really working on. I am trying to really be present with one baby at a time & then also enjoy playing with all 3 sometimes. Things like diaper changes, books at night, bath time or even crying fits often present themselves as one on one time.

My newest and most favorite one on one time is singing a whole song to one baby. They love the eye contact & all seem to "favor different songs" (who knows, just seems that way!). Gracie loves "Part of Your World " and will almost always smile when you sing it to her. Quinn will really smile at just about anything and Harper really likes to be whistled to!

This morning was one of my favorite moments...we all got a dance in & it was magic for our naps.

The girls and I especially had a good moment this morning... if you have a baby daughter, this song will get you. Check it out -- Little Miss Magic by Jimmy Buffett. I have cried to this song since I was pregnant.. and still do. Who knew Jimmy was deeper than just cheeseburgers & margaritas?

Triplets, sleeping through the night???

Well..I've been wondering since the day they were born when and if this would happen in perfect harmony, if ever...

Mark the calendar - April 14th...the Hackman trio slept 12 hours in a row - as if they planned when to go to sleep & when to wake up together!! I of course, did not sleep at all because I was busy putting my finger under their nose to check for warm breathing..while Scott was in dreamland. Why were dads born without the innate ability that moms were, to worry themselves, even during sleep? 

I have to say, embarking on 4 months has felt like we are nearing the end of the tunnel. The light is shining, finally! The tunnel that was full of dark, winter days with no way out of the house. No release from groundhog's day and no end to feedings 24/7, nothing in return and a little thing called hormones. What a blur the first few months are! When did these little sweetpeas crawl out of my belly?? 

The babies are now smiling, laughing, cooing all the time and seem to really know who WE are. (Quinn may know it all too well..just this week a mysterious cry pops up when I leave the room but is suddenly back to a smile upon my return...). Of course the extra zzz's at night help. But life seems to finally be a little better. I finally feel lighter - literally and rhetorically speaking. I have been able to workout & get out on walks everyday that it is nice. 

The biggest thing is that I think I'm finally seeing a little more clearly and not being so hard on myself. I have always been my worst critic, but now that I am a mommy (and an instant mommy of 3) I have to really work to be a cheerleader and have patience with not only my babies, but with myself. It's too bad it took me to almost 4 months to really be proud to say "I breast fed triplets for 8 weeks" instead of " I ONLY breast fed for 8 weeks". I think back to the days they were getting breast milk and it makes me feel so proud & happy. I can also start to take credit for just how good & happy my babies are. They are on a great sleep & eat schedule and are generally happy (yes, there are those 'other' days..) but they really are great babies, whether anyone else thinks it or not :) And...a pat on the back for me is finally in order for the countless hours I have logged in sweat pants, spit up and sleepless nights. They don't just get on a schedule and smile out of pure luck, right???!! I'm not bragging, and there is no badge. This is simply something I wanted to share because if you are in the secret society of "this is really hard to be a mom and people can tell you that, but you don't get it until you are one" club -- I want you to pat yourself on the back. It is very much a thankless job. You are the boss of not only yourself everyday, but of your precious little ones that you hope to shape into happy, well adjusted little human beings. And hope on the other end they come out thinking you are semi cool and may go in public with you. (They have to think it's cool we dance to Madonna Pandora, right?) And if you have ever heard the saying ... " When you are the boss of yourself -- your boss is crazy" -- it could never be more true than when you are "Boss Mom". So if you are reading this and you are a mom, stop for a minute and give yourself credit. Reflect on all that is hard and pull out what you did that was really great.  It feels so much better than beating yourself up for not getting laundry done or for not getting to a cry in .3 seconds in the middle of the night or for really wanting to watch Ellen during playtime... (Oh, Ill speak for myself) And then...tell your "boss" you need a day off :)

PS..just for fun... my constant name for my 3 peas in a pod are sweetpea.. thought I would share our favorite morning song -- it's a happy song, and we all need a happy song! :)


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G8YYsg4gFCo

The Mighty Quinn

We are home (got released Friday morning) and have been so blessed to watch our little man get better every day. He is catching up for lost time with food and has eaten 7 ozs in one feeding and tonight had over 12 ozs w/in a few hours! And he slept pretty much all day and when he did wake up, it was with a huge smile! I'm just letting that little man eat now that he feels like it! His breathing is much better & he has very much enjoyed being nursed back to health by his mama's arms...and needless to say, I am in trouble..

Thanks for the prayers and thoughts - we are blessed with such great support!

Quinn getting discharged in his Radio Flyer from Riley! Smiling on his way out!

Quinn Update

sweet little man "sleeping in" this morning..he got a mobile, gets to be naked all the time, no girls to cramp his style and is doing great sans swaddle.. finding the positive in this madness :)

Quinn is the sweetest little sick boy in the world. Last night he smiled, cooed and kicked his crazy little feet while his favorite nurse checked him out. She was so confused as to how he could have such a happy attitude while he sports a low grade fever and a little body that is clearly working extra hard to get air! He continues to be my pleaser! Up until this morning, he has remained a lot the same .. but this is actually a passing grade. We are here to make sure this doesn't turn bad quickly (they often do in infants). Hard to see him not eat like he normally does and be so uncomfortable, but again, he is being a trooper and is getting TONS of cuddles and is enjoying "snacking" (sometimes every hour he gets an oz or 2 because I'm so determined to keep him hydrated & up w/ calories. Good luck to me once we get home). We have had great care at Riley at IU North. Of course, everyone loves the mighty Quinn. For now, he does not have RSV, just being diagnosed w/ bronchiolitis. They say its a virus & you can't really treat it except w/ breathing treatments and time. I'm really hoping we were through the worst (they say days 3-5 are worst which would have been the last couple of days). Sounds like these last 7-10 days - so  hopefully soon he is back to himself & can breathe!

It has been really hard to not be able to think about my girls. I miss them but I don't think I know how much since I have been so consumed and sleepless here. Scott has had such quality time with the girls & has loved getting to know what goes on at home during a full day. He has done a full day and 2 nights of feedings - one of the nights all alone! It's nice to see him go for it and do a great job all by himself ( I of course don't mind him acknowledging how hard it is :) ) He even got the treat of being there for Harpers 1st time rolling over. So you wait for mama to leave little girl!? We have been thankful for the McKean & Richards grandparents coming to help as well as Aunt Katie the day we got admitted. When something like this happens, you are so thankful for those people that step up to help when you need it the most.

I have had many crazy moments of learning while here - it sounds weird,but I think this happened for many reasons. One, I feel great to stare at one baby, hold a baby all I want, focus on one's needs, etc - but I feel a void. I can now stop wondering what it's like to have one to care for and just be content knowing I am supposed to have triplets and that is my reality and it is what feels whole to me. Yes, its easier, in fact, after Quinn eats I'm sort of like, well, what do I do know - just change one diaper and entertain only him? :) But it's not what was meant for me. Also, these past few days have been awful to be a family split apart and so challenging to care round the clock for a little guy that just doesn't feel good.  It has taught me that day to day life with healthy triplets is, yes, a challenge - but not impossible or as frustrating as I let it be sometimes. The other positive, Scott is a little more of an equal partner - he has been the main caregiver to 2 babies (ok so not 3, but close enough for a daddy..) and he has had to tap into his gut, innate parenting skills and feelings of uncertainty, and he enjoyed it! Many daddies never have to man the ship, and although I wouldn't have picked this to force it to happen -- it has, and I'm proud of him for doing it all with a smile : ) I'm a dork and reading Bethenny Frankel's new book, A Place of Yes .. in one part she talks about sifting out the good and leaving the bad from every experience. She says like washing dirt off vegetables. Well, there is A LOT of dirt with this experience, but thankfully we are able to keep the carrots.

Our prayers are to have a healthy baby boy &  to be released today and to get him home so we are a family again!

from my phone, so can't get to rotate -but daddy sent us this.. he knows one of my favorite things is "these 3 words" on Saturday Good Morning America... so sweet :)