Friday, April 1, 2011

Quinn Update

sweet little man "sleeping in" this morning..he got a mobile, gets to be naked all the time, no girls to cramp his style and is doing great sans swaddle.. finding the positive in this madness :)

Quinn is the sweetest little sick boy in the world. Last night he smiled, cooed and kicked his crazy little feet while his favorite nurse checked him out. She was so confused as to how he could have such a happy attitude while he sports a low grade fever and a little body that is clearly working extra hard to get air! He continues to be my pleaser! Up until this morning, he has remained a lot the same .. but this is actually a passing grade. We are here to make sure this doesn't turn bad quickly (they often do in infants). Hard to see him not eat like he normally does and be so uncomfortable, but again, he is being a trooper and is getting TONS of cuddles and is enjoying "snacking" (sometimes every hour he gets an oz or 2 because I'm so determined to keep him hydrated & up w/ calories. Good luck to me once we get home). We have had great care at Riley at IU North. Of course, everyone loves the mighty Quinn. For now, he does not have RSV, just being diagnosed w/ bronchiolitis. They say its a virus & you can't really treat it except w/ breathing treatments and time. I'm really hoping we were through the worst (they say days 3-5 are worst which would have been the last couple of days). Sounds like these last 7-10 days - so  hopefully soon he is back to himself & can breathe!

It has been really hard to not be able to think about my girls. I miss them but I don't think I know how much since I have been so consumed and sleepless here. Scott has had such quality time with the girls & has loved getting to know what goes on at home during a full day. He has done a full day and 2 nights of feedings - one of the nights all alone! It's nice to see him go for it and do a great job all by himself ( I of course don't mind him acknowledging how hard it is :) ) He even got the treat of being there for Harpers 1st time rolling over. So you wait for mama to leave little girl!? We have been thankful for the McKean & Richards grandparents coming to help as well as Aunt Katie the day we got admitted. When something like this happens, you are so thankful for those people that step up to help when you need it the most.

I have had many crazy moments of learning while here - it sounds weird,but I think this happened for many reasons. One, I feel great to stare at one baby, hold a baby all I want, focus on one's needs, etc - but I feel a void. I can now stop wondering what it's like to have one to care for and just be content knowing I am supposed to have triplets and that is my reality and it is what feels whole to me. Yes, its easier, in fact, after Quinn eats I'm sort of like, well, what do I do know - just change one diaper and entertain only him? :) But it's not what was meant for me. Also, these past few days have been awful to be a family split apart and so challenging to care round the clock for a little guy that just doesn't feel good.  It has taught me that day to day life with healthy triplets is, yes, a challenge - but not impossible or as frustrating as I let it be sometimes. The other positive, Scott is a little more of an equal partner - he has been the main caregiver to 2 babies (ok so not 3, but close enough for a daddy..) and he has had to tap into his gut, innate parenting skills and feelings of uncertainty, and he enjoyed it! Many daddies never have to man the ship, and although I wouldn't have picked this to force it to happen -- it has, and I'm proud of him for doing it all with a smile : ) I'm a dork and reading Bethenny Frankel's new book, A Place of Yes .. in one part she talks about sifting out the good and leaving the bad from every experience. She says like washing dirt off vegetables. Well, there is A LOT of dirt with this experience, but thankfully we are able to keep the carrots.

Our prayers are to have a healthy baby boy &  to be released today and to get him home so we are a family again!

from my phone, so can't get to rotate -but daddy sent us this.. he knows one of my favorite things is "these 3 words" on Saturday Good Morning America... so sweet :) 

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