"Before you were conceived we wanted you
Before you were born we loved you
Before you were here an hour we would give our lives for you
This is the miracle of life"
|Gracie on left, Quinn and Harper|
|So tiring out of mama's belly|
|Hey Sis, these paci's are cool!!|
|Mama so tired & in love with little man|
At 35 1/2 weeks, we went in for our normal check-up w/ our Dr. - and as we sat in her office with my slightly elevated blood pressure, we knew today would be the day when our Dr. left the room to go "arrange things". I was for sure feeling different this week & with me heading towards a preeclamptic state, I was quickly talked into delivery since the chance of magnesium after delivery is high w/ preeclampsia.
So we find ourselves admitted and sitting back in the hospital..but this time, I am off trebutaline and just like that I go into labor with pretty strong contractions while waiting for surgery. I was so scared..not sure if I was scared of surgery or of three babies or sad that my pregnancy was over... but when it was time, I asked if I could walk to surgery, and off we go.. my first long walk since 27 weeks...
I won't go into details of a triplet c-section delivery.. but when you are laying on a table in a big white room waiting for your husband while your Dr. has a marker standing in front of 3 baby warmers asking " Alright Babe, what are the name of the babies so I can write them on the warmers?" - it goes from a pregnancy to a real life promise of three little people. Things went smoothly and my Doctors and many helpers were amazing.. however, the night wasn't my favorite of all time. I didn't respond well to the morphine and about itched my face off while being really confused in my recovery room.. I would wake up and think I was just still here on bed rest & wonder when we would take the babies heart rates. Then I would remember, oh yeah, they are here! And then I would look around and they weren't here. They got taken away pretty quickly and I was only able to kiss Quinn & Gracie on the face and just glance at Harper. I will never forget how warm and real their little faces felt. They were truly miracles. They were taken to NICU and we were given no information.. no weights, no updates, NOTHING! So hard! So eventually Scott and my parents went up to see them. And soon Scott came back down to tell my they were perfect and to announce just how healthy they were!! No oxygen and they were checking out totally perfect in every way!
Finally at midnight, in a gown, scratched up face from the itchy morphine and a puke bucket - I entered my babies room upstairs and for the first time touched and held the babies I had been holding and loving for so long. It was surreal. When we left I puked..partly morphine, partly heartbroken to leave.
The next morning was truly one of the weirdest days of my life. I woke up with no babies and Scott was in Fort Wayne to see his Dad, who had just been read his last rights. What a weird and awful twist of fate and circle of life. My hormones were down and I was craving my family. My mom and I got to go up to the NICU and when I got there, I met one of the lactation consultants. She was an angel..she rubbed my shoulders and never made me feel like I was crazy for wanting to feed 3 babies. ( I think if I carried them, I can try to feed them!) So my little trooper Gracie Jean and I finally got acquainted and practiced kangaroo care. Within 2 minutes she found her way and had latched on perfectly. The lac consultant said she had never seed a 35 weeker latch on that! Yeah! For the first time, I felt like a mommy. I stared out at the same parking lot that I looked at for 6 weeks while growing them, with Gracie latched on & sucking & swallowing (one of my many prayers we made it to the "suck and swallow age) and just had tears coming down my face. Every minute of bed rest worth it.
That afternoon our sweet Quinn and our peanut Harper came down to be with us in our room! It was awesome to have them with us, but really hard to not have our baby girl Gracie with us. We took turns visiting her and feeding her and feeding the babies in our room. Between the pain pills and chaos, the first night was a blur..but we did take advantage of the nursery...so nice. I still got up every 2 hours to pump, but so nice to know we could sleep and they were in good hands. By 7 am, we both missed them so much and couldn't wait to have them back.
By Saturday afternoon Gracie was keeping her temp and keeping food down.. so finally we were a family all together! We had so many nurses coming in to just look to see the triplets that didn't have to go to the NICU
|Headed home from hospital!!!|
It felt great to be home, but so scary. I never the knew the fear of a mother in your heart when you try to shut your eyes and all you can think about is checking their breathing, are they warm enough?, what if they spit up and choke..and on and on. So, needless to say, first night = no sleep. I was a walking zombie at our pediatrician appt. the next day. But all good news, no bilirubin issues and weight was good! And even better, we survived our first outing in the freezing cold. No showers and black circles, but we survived.
|Are you my mama??|
|Daddy and his buddy Quinn|
|Harper Jo & her long fingers|
|Happy Gracie Jean|
|Grandma and Harper Jo (has Grandmas middle name!)|
|Home for Christmas..all I wanted :)|