15 days of Love, Learning and Lots of Poop

This is hands down my favorite "job" I've ever had. The job description isn't very appealing..getting peed, pooped and spit up on. You work 1st, 2nd & 3rd shift & don't really get to sleep or eat or shower. You are responsible for dish washing, laundry and feeding,burping & changing. By the end of a day your nipples are blistered & bruised. In fact, you are on call 24/7 and you may not get to brush your teeth for two days.

But the benefits are so good that I will never quit..

The smell of baby. Dark eyes looking right at you. The innocent trust they have in you & they way they cuddle on your chest. They way they need you and only you.

I just wanted to sit down & record what has been going on around here..it is already going so fast, and with  each day we get smarter, and with each day, my heart feels happy but a little sad that I know they won't be like this forever. I want to remember every bit!

--Sights, Smells & Sounds

the smell of my babies - i could sit and inhale the way their hair and face smells, even when it has a hint of spit up. the way their dark eyes are so innocent & trusting when they look at me and actually start to focus. the hiccups, the coos when they are eating, the mmms when they are stretching and even the burps, farts and blowouts you celebrate. the open mouth "o" shape and rooting with tired, sleepy eyes. the wiggles and scrunchy faces as they get hungry. their tiny little bodies moving so strongly that i would never guess they were preemie. happy paci sucking in the middle of the night. sucking and swallowing and the gasp for air when they are feeding their belly. spppats of tiny lips. grunts. and even cries..(learning every day who belongs to what cry). especially the little noises and grunts and stretches they make when they all lay on a blanket together and try to figure out just where they are & what is going on.

--Touch

silky soft face, butt cheeks, legs, ears, arms...everything baby. the way a naked baby feels on my chest. the cuddles under our necks because they can't get close enough. the way they find their hand and reach up to your face. the way their hands go straight up when laying on my chest and how their little fingers scratch my chest. the soft hair and little head resting on me as i burp them.

--Small Achievements

figuring out that humming or "shhhing" in their ear when they are crying during a cold diaper change will calm them down immediately. getting them swaddled just right (all 3 differently and all by daddy) so they will fall asleep. getting to the pediatrician and back, 4 times in the first 11 days of life, in snow & ice and freezing cold. all getting to or above birth weight in 11 days. making it through every night. doing one feeding by myself. loving 3 babies and feeling like they all get equally held, loved, fed and smooched on at the end of the day. getting a schedule.. and then watching it all change the next day.  the babies have had their first achievements too..focusing eyes & making eye contact, finishing a whole bottle, taking a bath and having tummy time and lifting their little heads completely off the floor! And of course, getting cuter and a little more chubby everyday.

--Tears 

Lots. Tears of happiness, sadness, nervousness, anxiety, pride, feeling terrified, and of complete bliss. leaving the hospital the last night & walking through the NICU one last time after the car seat test and seeing all the tiny babies in warmers, on oxygen,etc and feeling so blessed beyond belief we didn't have to do that path. crying in the shower because you are so tired and sore and nervous you can't do one more hour. crying because i look down and see a sleepy baby nursing. sad the umbilical cord falls off. offended Scott doesn't notice I have pre-pregnancy clothes on and I did my makeup. complete break down of feeling selfish, scared and totally afraid of raising three babies at once. the next morning feeling so overwhelmingly blessed that I can't stop crying. while dumping old bottles, i dump a whole bottle of pumped milk. chasing breast milk into my rolls from pregnancy because i can't lose another drop. and really, tears just because.

--Choices


What to do with an hour?? Sleep, Shower or Eat? (Always sleep) the choice to always go pick Quinn up when he fusses like clockwork after the 10 pm feeding when we all try to "go to bed" as a family. that boy has mama wrapped around his finger, and maybe i made a bad choice of rocking him to sleep..but i don't care.. the choice to keep breast feeding or to do what is easy -- something I think about every day (not ready to give up yet, but feel like I am constantly rushing through everything..and if it comes down to missing out on my babies because i am always with my pump, i will choose my babies. for now, work in progress...) the choice to relax & believe God has his hand in on keeping my babies safe (and breathing through the night) or the choice to worry until my stomach hurts.. (again another work in progress)..

--Much needed

a shower with candles & Sheryl Crow. cat naps. finally sleeping through a feeding and letting go of control for 3 hours. going to Target & BabiesRUs with Scott and feeling like we are parents. going to Target ALONE for the 1st time & feeling like a member of society & walking around feeling like a mommy. feeling rested so I am the best and most present mommy I can be. not reading any books on breast feeding or listening to people tell me I can't do it. just doing what seems like instinct with formula & breast feeding, sleeping and holding and cuddling babies. cheer leading and help from friends and family..big thanks to my mom & dad & uncle Brad from Hawaii this week, without them, we couldn't have survived all these feedings, changings and loving on 3 babies. (It's also priceless to hear 2 grown men talk about what they should chart for each feeding in the binder... "did Gracie poo-poo?" And forgiving ourselves for sleeping through the alarm for the 4 am feeding and for just not always knowing, in general.

--Thankful

of course most thankful God has given us 3 very perfect, healthy & beautiful babies. we are blessed beyond belief & I am reminded every day that this is a gift, not something we can take for granted. the middle of the night is hard, but I am thankful our babies are healthy and happy to need us to feed them, change them & just love them...they don't ask for much more. and as mentioned, we are so very thankful for the love, time & support from the people who have stayed with us & helped with everything from middle of the night feedings to things as small but very important as keeping bottles clean. Brad and my mom & dad have been life savers & what a bond they get with our babies.

Some pictures of our 1st 2 weeks!

Sisters 

Our 1st Christmas

Harper has a secret for Quinn

With Grandma & Grandpa on Christmas Eve

My favorite thing in the world! Gracie on mamas chest

Harpers 1st bath..feels good 

Gracie's first bath .. brrr

Quinn's 1st bath..not sure yet

We love Daddy's chest

A rare moment..Uncle Brad captured a moment that we are all asleep

Quinn, my handsome little man

Gracie, my beautiful little girl

Harper, my pretty little peanut

Babies Are Home...Life Since December 16th

"Before you were conceived we wanted you

Before you were born we loved you

Before you were here an hour we would give our lives for you

This is the miracle of life"

Gracie on left, Quinn and Harper

So tiring out of mama's belly

Hey Sis, these paci's are cool!!

Mama so tired & in love with little man 

At 5:05, 5:06 and 5:07 pm on Thursday December 16th 2010, our lives were changed forever. Many many prayers were fulfilled and answered with the first cry of our beautiful son, followed closely by the cry of daddy's little girls.. and not much after Scott and I crying like babies ourselves! (as a warning, this is a novel!)

At 35 1/2 weeks, we went in for our normal check-up w/ our Dr. - and as we sat in her office with my slightly elevated blood pressure, we knew today would be the day when our Dr. left the room to go "arrange things". I was for sure feeling different this week & with me heading towards a preeclamptic state, I was quickly talked into delivery since the chance of magnesium after delivery is high w/ preeclampsia.

So we find ourselves admitted and sitting back in the hospital..but this time, I am off trebutaline and just like that I go into labor with pretty strong contractions while waiting for surgery. I was so scared..not sure if I was scared of surgery or of three babies or sad that my pregnancy was over... but when it was time, I asked if I could walk to surgery, and off we go.. my first long walk since 27 weeks...

I won't go into details of a triplet c-section delivery.. but when you are laying on a table in a big white room waiting for your husband while your Dr. has a marker standing in front of 3 baby warmers asking " Alright Babe, what are the name of the babies so I can write them on the warmers?" - it goes from a pregnancy to a real life promise of three little people. Things went smoothly and my Doctors and many helpers were amazing.. however, the night wasn't my favorite of all time. I didn't respond well to the morphine and about itched my face off while being really confused in my recovery room.. I would wake up and think I was just still here on bed rest & wonder when we would take the babies heart rates. Then I would remember, oh yeah, they are here! And then I would look around and they weren't here. They got taken away pretty quickly and I was only able to kiss Quinn & Gracie on the face and just glance at Harper. I will never forget how warm and real their little faces felt. They were truly miracles. They were taken to NICU and we were given no information.. no weights, no updates, NOTHING! So hard! So eventually Scott and my parents went up to see them. And soon Scott came back down to tell my they were perfect and to announce just how healthy they were!! No oxygen and they were checking out totally perfect in every way!

Finally at midnight, in a gown, scratched up face from the itchy morphine and a puke bucket - I entered my babies room upstairs and for the first time touched and held the babies I had been holding and loving for so long. It was surreal. When we left I puked..partly morphine, partly heartbroken to leave.

The next morning was truly one of the weirdest days of my life. I woke up with no babies and Scott was in Fort Wayne to see his Dad, who had just been read his last rights. What a weird and awful twist of fate and circle of life. My hormones were down and I was craving my family. My mom and I got to go up to the NICU and when I got there, I met one of the lactation consultants. She was an angel..she rubbed my shoulders and never made me feel like I was crazy for wanting to feed 3 babies. ( I think if I carried them, I can try to feed them!) So my little trooper Gracie Jean and I finally got acquainted and practiced kangaroo care. Within 2 minutes she found her way and had latched on perfectly. The lac consultant said she had never seed a 35 weeker latch on that! Yeah! For the first time, I felt like a mommy. I stared out at the same parking lot that I looked at for 6 weeks while growing them, with Gracie latched on & sucking & swallowing (one of my many prayers we made it to the "suck and swallow age) and just had tears coming down my face. Every minute of bed rest worth it.

That afternoon our sweet Quinn and our peanut Harper came down to be with us in our room! It was awesome to have them with us, but really hard to not have our baby girl Gracie with us. We took turns visiting her and feeding her and feeding the babies in our room. Between the pain pills and chaos, the first night was a blur..but we did take advantage of the nursery...so nice. I still got up every 2 hours to pump, but so nice to know we could sleep and they were in good hands. By 7 am, we both missed them so much and couldn't wait to have them back.

By Saturday afternoon Gracie was keeping her temp and keeping food down.. so finally we were a family all together! We had so many nurses coming in to just look to see the triplets that didn't have to go to the NICU

Headed home from hospital!!!

We got released Sunday at 9 am and we kept joking we will be here until 11:59 (insurance only covers until midnight on your 3rd day). Well, at almost 11:30, we are finally in the car. It was 33 degrees on the car temp, and as we drove home, my heart was so full to have my whole family in the same car! (Although a very funny scene, Gracie had to lay flat on a car seat bed because she "failed" her car seat test that checks oxygen levels for 90 minutes. So she was in the 3rd row with my mom sitting on the floor and Harper and Quinn sitting in the middle and me and Scott in the front. I think we drove 5 mph home)

It felt great to be home, but so scary. I never the knew the fear of a mother in your heart when you try to shut your eyes and all you can think about is checking their breathing, are they warm enough?, what if they spit up and choke..and on and on. So, needless to say, first night = no sleep. I was a walking zombie at our pediatrician appt. the next day. But all good news, no bilirubin issues and weight was good! And even better, we survived our first outing in the freezing cold. No showers and black circles, but we survived.

Are you my mama??

So enough about the first few days.. here is a little bit about our sweet babies that fill our hearts a little more each minute! And a quick side note about multiple babies..you spend so much time going over in your mind about the idea that you are having "triplets" and everyone warns you how much can go wrong with pregnancy, JUST how hard it will be (normally from mothers of singletons) and how tired we will be. how we should just plan for NICU, and you go over in your mind how will we ever do 3 at a time -- all the while forgetting you get the gift of 3 amazing and very individual children.  I used to think pregnancy was the best thing that you could experience, but when your baby or babies finally open their eyes, gain a little focus and look at you and you can say "Hi, I AM  YOUR mama.. who cares if you had them all at once and it's hard. It's a gift from God...and sometimes God gives you two, three or more times what you asked for.

Daddy and his buddy Quinn

Quinn Scott - weighing in at 4.15 lbs & 18 inches.. he is a gorgeous man. A dark haired and dark skinned little man that is a mini me of Scott. We call him our grumpy man because he always makes this scrunched up face like he can't be bothered. He started out sort of a lazy eater, but now latches on quick and can stay awake and breast feed with the best of them. He is just so sweet and I love looking at him & seeing Scott. He was the only warmer in view in the OR and I stared at him for the whole 20 or 30 minutes while they worked on me. I was in awe. I got to kiss his face before he went to the NICU.. very surreal.

Harper Jo & her long fingers

Harper Jo - 4.0 lbs and 17 inches Our perfect little fighting peanut. I felt her the most in my belly, and I had predicted she would be the feisty one. I saw her from a distance but didn't get to touch her in the OR, but I saw her right when she came out, and she was sucking her fingers and rooting her head within the first seconds of life! She has dark hair, too, and has the sweetest face. We aren't sure who she looks like!? Maybe my mom. She sticks her tongue out all the time or opens her mouth like a bird and often will just have one eye open. She just makes us laugh. She may be the smallest, but what she lacks in size, she makes up for in feeding (eats the best by far - breast or bottle, she doesn't care!) and in development. She was the first to open her eyes, the first to turn her head at our voices, the first to focus her eyes and look at us and the first to lift her head off your chest when you hold her. She is a little sweet pea and is just is as content as can be!

Happy Gracie Jean

Gracie Jean - 4.13 lbs and 18 inches. Oh our little Amazing Gracie. She is sweet as pie and melts your heart when she "smiles" but she lets you know when she isn't happy! Like I said above, she really likes to breast feed and if I'm holding her, she wants to "snack". She is the one that gave me confidence to keep going with pumping and fitting pieces of the puzzle together to breast feed 3 babes. She discovered her paci this week and when she drops it, you know! She spent a lot of time in my left hip during pregnancy, but holding her and looking at her dark curly hair with dark blue eyes, I don't care. She is happiest being cuddled & loves kangaroo care (baby skin to mama or papa or whoever skin)

Proud Papa 

Grandma and Harper Jo (has Grandmas middle name!)

We are now home and thankfully, Grandma Richards is here to help. We have systems down, that change and get perfected every day. We've been blown away with the way a little face will make a middle of the night feeding ok and the way a new development in a day will keep you going. Just another day in Paradise around here :)

Home for Christmas..all I wanted :)

I plan to keep chronicles of our sweet peas and welcome you to share them with us. May not be as "cliffhanger-ish" as the pregnancy, but I can't wait to print this blog and give it to each one of our babies..so they know just how much they, are and will always be loved and prayed for. Perfectly created and all here by no mistake!!

35 weeks!!!

35 wks, 1 day 

This is beyond our wildest dreams that we have made it to week 35! In fact, my contractions have gone way down, so I don't know that those babies want out in the cold :)

Now, mama on the other hand..I have finally hit the wall of all of those things that people talk about in pregnancy... swollen hands and sometimes my feet, little swollen in my face and really stuffy (and apparently now a snorer, so I hear) and my back feels so weak. Those babies finally just feel really heavy. And, I really am leaning to the left! I am the leaning tower of baby! They have gone from babies to dinosaurs moving in there!

The babies continue to look great in their scans, all scored 8/8 yesterday. My BP was a little high and I have been feeling not very well in comparison to how I have been feeling, so I got checked into triage. They took my blood to check levels for preeclampsia. My BP lowered and my blood tested out fine, but I will go back Thursday to get re-checked against the levels from yesterday. They said I could be leaning towards preeclampsia, or not..just need to keep an eye on it. This could be one reason we deliver this week.

And I finally lost that amazing ability to doze off in comfortable sleep...however, early this morning I got to sleep a really full solid hour cuddled against Scott because it somehow supported my back! Maybe God wanted us to have one last spooning before we share our bed forever :)

A visit @ hospital from Ella, Cohen & Colsen

The house is full of baby gear and clothes and Scott accidentally used the Dreft on our bed sheets...so I am loving the motivation of baby smell and sights that means real life sweet babies will be here with us soon!

Delivery Day for Baby Raya Weaver!

Home Sweet Home

What a week!

Monday..we are asked "What do you think about going home"? At first, nervous..but as the days passed by..very antsy to get home to our soft bed, soft toilet paper, soft towels, soft carpet and a soft husband next to me in bed :)

Wednesday.. one of my dearest friends was planning to visit me after her 38 week appt at the hospital. The hours roll by and I wonder where she is..well, by 6 pm she calls to say she is checked in RIGHT below me on the 4th floor!! What a crazy turn of events..we started trying to get pregnant the same month, went through many months of ups & downs, and then ended up doing the same procedure with the same practice and  got pregnant within 5 weeks of each other.. and here we are, a floor apart in the hospital! She was a rock star & delivered a sweet baby girl by the next afternoon..with only 4 pushes!! I was able to literally stalk her labor from my room because my nurse could give me updates from the computer...so I felt like I was there! What a high! So happy for you Laura!! Baby Raya is perfect!!

Thursday.. see my Dr. and she says if all goes well at your ultrasound, you are out of here!! She hugs us and we are off to our ultrasound. GREAT NEWS...babies look great and all score 8/8 on their biophysical profiles. Drum roll for estimated weight..

Baby Boy - 5.6 lbs
Baby Girl B - 5 lbs
Baby Girl C - 5.7 lbs

Mind you, these are estimates..but still great news!

By 5:30, we have a suitcase packed, a cart full of stuff and me in a wheelchair actually sad to be leaving my nurses! They have been so great and I feel like so many of them have become my friends! Too bad I can't bring a couple of them home :)

In bed by 8 watching the Colts with Scott with our little tree set up in the corner of our bedroom (a poor display compared to my normal over the top Christmas deco..but it will do because now we have bouncer seats, pack & plays and swings decorating everything)

So now we wait! No planned c-section (unless we reach 38, which is a joke and makes Scott nervous that we would miss our tax deductions..ha ha). I would be happy with 35 or 36...and would be happy to deal with the chaos of NO NICU!

As always, thanks for your prayers and thoughts!!

34 weeks!! 1st of a few goals...

To follow up to my last post of gratitude...we are SOOO thankful to hit a HUGE milestone of 34 weeks today. I remember clearly sitting in our Dr's office at our first visit with her at 12 weeks...and she said "we are lucky and SO happy to get you to 32 with triplets, but if we can get 34 we are very happy..."

We are here! Good job babies!!

Updates:

   

Weights: Although I'm stuffing my face, my weight has stayed the same for the last 3 weeks. So I am at a solid 60 lbs gained. I'm trying to get these babies fat!! Babies will get measured again a week from today.

Babies: All scored 8/8 on biophysical ultrasound today. Baby C was stubborn with movement, but she finally picked up..will she be our stubborn one?? :)

Me: Blood pressure pretty steady, goes up sometimes but is of no concern and never that high. Cervix stable at 2.1. Barely any contractions..just some small ones in the evening. I feel great and really only get a little uncomfortable at night.

Sleep and Eating: Not that excited about much food, but trying to eat every couple hours. So sad that even junk food doesn't do it for me. However, Toll House Choc. chip cookies have been my friend. I sleep really well every night and sneak naps in during the day (thank you God, I know this is not normal and the nurses push Ambien on my every night in disbelief that I don't need it..but come on, I won't be sleeping for 5 years, this is only fair)

Biggest update of all... If.. I mean WHEN we get to next Monday (35 weeks) we can go home and just wait to go into labor like a normal person!! That would be the biggest blessing of all.. a few nights in my own bed and maybe I can actually nest a little! So our prayers this week are to get to 35 and be set free!

Christmas Wish List: Dear Santa, All I want for Christmas is 3 babies... healthy, 35+ weekers, all over 5 lbs. and home by Christmas :)

Again, and as always, thank you for your prayers and positive thoughts...it works!!!

View from my bed to outside world from hospital bed 

View from my bed..my own little Christmas tree 

GRATITUDE

 My hormones are making me sappy..I know, but after feeling so bad last week on the magnesium, I'm feeling so good this week that I just have to take a minute and express how grateful I am. Grateful for how much God has blessed us not only with three healthy growing babies that are trucking along so well, but for the whole journey that has been provided to us because of these three little lives.

I daily hear of a new person I've never met that is praying for us, following our story and or sending us positive vibes. Our friends and family are truly pulling for us, as well as our doctors, nurses, moms in my multiples group and my new "bed rest buddies" at the hospital. I have always believed in prayer and the power of positive thinking, but when the nurses come in and are baffled that we are still here, it's all I can "blame" for why we are still doing so well. I wish I could physically see all the thoughts, prayers and energy coming our way -- I think it would light up the sky! Thank you, Thank you, Thank you if you are reading this.. for everything you have done.

Little did we know that day...

I may sound annoyingly positive, but really, this journey has taught Scott and I so much. We may still be in our "honeymoon phase" while only being married for 3 years..but we test out of at least 4 or 5 years of newly being married after this experience. Scott has seen me voluntarily and involuntarily be the most disgusting person in the world, gain over 60 lbs, cry until I'm shaking, make the dumbest comments and forget important things, need to have food wiped off my face, need fed and feet rubbed, held my hand at every ultrasound we have ever had and so much more I won't even write here. And after all of this, he isn't scared or altered. He doesn't look at me any different. In fact, he looks at me like I'm still his 128 lb, cute, self-sufficient and fun bride. And I look at him and thank God he is my partner in this and the father of these three babies.

I feel like I'm on the 11th mile of a half marathon (never ran a full, so this is my best comparison). Yeah, I'm tired, but I am alive, capable and have just done a lot more work than most will ever do in their life - so I feel pretty dang good. At mile 8 you aren't totally sure your body will provide for you.. you are tired, scared and can't even fathom the finish line. But at mile 11, you have way more behind you than in front of you..the finish line is real and you can taste how good it will feel. It doesn't scare you anymore to finish the race. It's yours to have and you feel like smiling. I don't want to jinx myself, but I have picked up speed and I feel like I can do the last 2.1 miles (= 2 more weeks, putting us at around 35 weeks). Even if the babies decide to come earlier, I know we have done the journey together.. and however we finish, it will be the 5 of us and we will be a victory.