Thursday, March 31, 2011

A drug

I never knew how I would react to the first fever. I imagined I would freak out, cry and feel hopeless.

Instead of just a fever, we got a fever of 102, rapid breathing (very much distress) and a sad little Quinn that has been admitted to Clarion Hospital for bronchiolitis. I can't believe we are back at a hospital! All too familiar - being admitted, vitals, dry air and beeping all night. However, he is doing great & we are in the right place. We are waiting on the RSV swab and his lungs were clear in the x-ray. He is at 100% for oxygen saturation and eating decently and has wet diapers (in fact, in Quinn fashion, during a diaper change we got a fountain all over the floor - we celebrated). I miss my girls at home, but God has given me my mom adrenaline to be here and be present with Quinn. He is actually as happy as a clam - LOVES being in my arms all night and day (like I only put him down for an hour or so to sleep) and smiles & coos at me when he's up. He loves the breathing treatments and doesn't even cry. I just pray he keeps going in the right direction and that the girls don't get this like he has. Pretty certain they have been exposed, but some babies just respond differently.

I of course feel guilt for allowing this to happen and I'm not sure how it did. But I'm not freaking out and I'm not hopeless - another one of those God moments where I will look back and say, "How was I so calm?" I have treasured every moment and the life lessons I have had with my baby boy in the last 24 hours and am thankful he is going to be healthy again soon.

This morning I met yet another character in the book of our life  - his name is Bob and he is doing Quinn's breathing treatments. We were talking about babies and how it's crazy how much you can love them. He said something that is so true & that will always stick with me -He said, "When my babies were born, I just wanted them close to me right away & I couldn't get enough.  Those babies come out & they are like a drug - you just can't get enough."

How true it is, and although the drugs in Q's breathing treatments, I'm sure are helping him, I'm hoping I'm giving the best drug back to my little guy - my undivided cuddles & love....

Thank you for your prayers :)

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